World AIDS Day 05-12-09

I confess... I should study rather than blogging... but I just want to blog it... Hahahaha...

Today, I joined a big event which KLASS and MAF organized it... World AIDS Day 2009. This is my second times in participate WAD event as volunteer...

Erm... This year, unfortunately... I can only participate for one day which is today... and this event will keep go on until tomorrow... Ya... It's kinda sad that I can't join for both day and make me feel like I done something incompletely... Well, never mind la... put aside the sadness and "desalinate" it with tomorrow night dinner la... Hehe

Well, after I joined 2008 WAD, I felt I learnt a lot from that and make me feel wanted to join next volunteer work, and yes... this year I joined lo!!! Last year, I kinda feel shame and afraid of approach to public... and this year, after what had I gone through in this one year, I find myself comfortable with approaching public and yes... I am no more rely to my other group member!!!

In this event, I was in charging in outreach work, which allow me to go around, wearing mystery mask, and sandwich board that sending out the message about HIV... yet, I don't think I helped a lot la... haha... Because I just simply walk around and ask people to hug me, in the condition that they thought I am HIV positive... I feel a little bit sorry for deceived them, but I would like to thanks them for willing to hug me, and that actually show support to HIV patient... indirectly!! So for the person who hugged me, thanks for your support ya!!! By the way, while I was walking around, when people look at me as real HIV carrier, they show me a discriminate look and I can really feel that I had been discriminated... that is hurt... So, now I really can feel how is the feeling of being discriminated... that is so hurt man...

I am HIV +ve, Hug?

Well, I have to admit that I did nothing much other than what I mentioned, coz i hang out quite a lot with Game section there... Bcoz friends at there mah... and I found myself have fun at there... not that I was not having fun at outreach, but at least I can chit chat with "Auntie" rather than just have few second to promote our activities... So, have to say sorry to my team member from Team 7... Haha... They did a lot work in outreach... and sorry I left out quite a bit or more than a bit...

Team 7 member

Other than that, we actually play a role as audiences, which I think most of the time, the audiences are volunteers. (ops... I not suppose to say it out???) I don't think that is a bad things la... because organizer have they own issues to deal with... so... And honestly, I think all volunteers are such a good, and supportive audiences!! Give ourselves a clap!!! Yeah!!!

When you wear mask, you will become Idol of children, becoz they tot you are batman^^

Overall, I find myself enjoy in this event... making new friends... and our friendship is tested... while I forgot to bring my wallet... Yng keep say want to lend me her money... with condition 10 out 13 back... Such a good friend right?? I was moved!!! Anyway... I am proud of myself that I joined this event and glad that I know some new friends there... It's really nice to meet you guys!! Hope I can still join this kind of voluntary work next time... I like this kind of event more than earn money...

Nice to meet you guys^^

And for someone who read this before 6th Dec. 2009, the event is still running until 6th Dec. ... So, please go there and join them because tomorrow morning, our former Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir will be there for open ceremony... and noon will have mini concert... who would miss a free mini concert right??? Hehe...

Universal Access and Human Right!!! Stop AIDS, Keep the Promise!!

Use Condom, Keep away from HIV!!

Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry, NeGan NeGan NeGan Bajio

Another Negative Energy blog...

I start wondering what the meaning of SORRY...
Yea... people ask me to say sorry... which I don't think I should be the one who should... Haha...
Yea... I am so damn stubborn one and childish... but people don't know me...
Of course, I can say sorry to one individual which completely not sincere at all to get thing solved... but do you think the thing would get solved? Yea... Temporary... next time thing happen again? Boom... Sorry again lo... Now SORRY seem like a tool to use, more than a sincere apology...

People always wait others to take initiative to say sorry rather than they say sorry first... That's true... and I used to be the one who took the initiative too... If you ask me what I got?? I will tell: "you get another chance to take the initiative." This become a behavior already... even you are not the one who should... you should... because people think you are wrong, that mean you are wrong... you don't get a chance to stand for yourself... You should say sorry... The most ironic thing is... I should apologize about what... "I am sorry about you blame me for the thing that I should not be blame, so sorry... please forgive me..." Good idea!?? Ok Ok... to be fair enough... you also get your friend back la... And you may also get multiple personality disorder too... hahaha... the last one is not true la.... =P

I do think friendship more important, but when you gain a friendship but you can't protect yourself or you need to hurt yourself... don't you think this is quite similar with a girl say she want to kill herself to get her boyfriend back??? Ermm... I do think that is a bad example though.... You may get together again, but how the relationship... is it you remove the boom or just delay the boom timer?

"You should love yourself so that people love you" or "you should lost yourself so that people love you"... Now I need to double check it... People want a sincere Sorry or "Social" Sorry? Hmmm....

Positive energy come to me... come to me... Next blog would be happy thing!!!

Friend...

#####Notice####
This is post with NEGATIVE energy...
Don't read if you don't want to ruin your happy mood

This maybe the 1st time I post the blog which talk about the conflict that i had with my friend, i always try to avoid and let other know about this, especially friends that we share because

1. people take side when conflict happen between 2 people...
2. Or people don't know which side should they stand
3. People don't care much...

Well, the conflict sound very small business to other... but for me this is very big issue that I think I should deal with...

This happened one month++ ago, and yet we still haven't solve it out... because no one is taking action to step out the 1st heavy step...

After this conflict happened, I tried to think of a win-win solution so that I don't lose my dignity and problem get solve... yet, after few times of sharing with friends and other methods... I found that win-win situation is hard to reach and it's not easy... because somehow, I will lost something and I think I have nothing but that only...

EXPECTATION... have to admit that I have high expectation on friend, because I used to thought how i treat people, people will treat me in the same way... yet, i didn't get credit or what... I do know we can't expect when you help people, people will help you back... Maybe... this is the time for me to change this perspective... The belief I have from starter... actually is wrong... I should think that way... So... maybe I need to learn how to be altruist and no expectation from friend.

I can't see how much they try to solve this problem, because all this way, I think I am the one who try to solve this problem rather than just avoid it... On the way I back to home, I think How should i type an apologetic message... but i didn't send it... When opportunity is there, I tried to voice out and get opinion from third party... yet, i didn't accept most of them... SORRY...

So, from the whole journey that I look for solution, I can't see they actually try to solve this problem... I feel like I am so lonely... For me. maybe they just worth to fight for, and for them, I am not worthy enough to fight for... and nothing seem lost for them...

Now... I am feel so tired already... I don't want to spend my time to think about solution and all those stuff already... I am exhausted, disappointed, denying and want to give up...

So, I put everything here... hope I won't carry those thing out from this daily... my friend say... let fate decide all the thing... maybe this time... i should do what he told me...

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

Ah... It's 2.40am... I still can't sleep... maybe I slept at 5pm and wake up at 8pm just now... ==

Anyway, that's doesn't really matter to me... because I always can't sleep at night so decided to blog here...

Recently, I watch quite a number of anime, yet only one anime that caught my attention and make me late for class== which is Tokyo Magnitude 8.0... This anime really worth my tear... This is one of the few anime that make me so touching, actually this is the one that make me touched and cry so hard...

Actually this anime caught my attention long time ago, but i didn't get chance to watch it... Until recently, I decided to watch this and yes... I was addicted to this anime, even this is only 11 episodes.

Basically, this anime is talking about Tokyo have 8.0 level(?) earthquakes and make Tokyo in mess... A sister (Mirai) and her bother (Yuuki) went to robot exhibition and they are trapped in Daida... and they wanted to go home and meet with their parents.... a stranger Mari help them and send them home, this is how the story begin.

Besides the touching story, the other best of the anime is the product team actually did many simulation and research on what actually if this earthquake did happen in real life, so, we can actually see how severe is the earthquake cause in quite real way... of course, hope this would never happen...

Yet, when I was watching this anime, our neighbor country Indonesia was actually happened earthquake I want to say such a coincidence but that is bad and I hope they would get well soon, and able to stand up again...

Anyway, just want to share a good anime and I recommend to all!!! ^^

For some reason, I feel moved every time I see this poster... T-T

Good bye ShinChan... 新ちゃん さようなら。。。

Since we lost MJ and Yasmin... Now we lost another genius of the world... Yoshito Usui... I think most people may don't know who is he... he is author of famous comic Crayon ShinChan...

Yesterday, while my mom was watching her favorite show... then got preview of news... I saw the title of Crayon Shinchan Author dead... I was shocked and feel so sad really bad...

I believe all people around my age know who is ShinChan... This comic actually accompany me for whole childhood day... actually included my sister's childhood... Our family all like this show and now... we gonna say good bye to this comic... a comic accompany us for so many years...

When I was primary school age, I always ask my dad buy this comic for me... everyweeks go to the shop and expect new episode of Crayon ShinChan until I was form one... yet, I still watch some episode but I really stop buying the comic already and think the comic is so boring...

Yet, few months ago or many last year, I bought 48th episode of this comic again all by sudden... and I found the story line start to be different... Yoshito sensei start add some sad story inside and that really touching one... I really think he is very genius... he can really make me laugh like crazy to cry like crazy...

Until tomorrow, I don't know Yoshito sensei actually was missing from 11th September... yesterday... the news came out and shocked me... According to some forums, they say Crayon Shinchan is going to be end at 51st episode (recently 49)... I feel so sad that I can no longer see ShinChan again... because he and his family/friends are one part of my life... they brought me a lot of fun and now it's time to say good bye...

Anyway, as human... we always need to say good bye to someone... So... good bye ShinChan... and Yoshito sensei... hope you rest in peace....