Friend...

#####Notice####
This is post with NEGATIVE energy...
Don't read if you don't want to ruin your happy mood

This maybe the 1st time I post the blog which talk about the conflict that i had with my friend, i always try to avoid and let other know about this, especially friends that we share because

1. people take side when conflict happen between 2 people...
2. Or people don't know which side should they stand
3. People don't care much...

Well, the conflict sound very small business to other... but for me this is very big issue that I think I should deal with...

This happened one month++ ago, and yet we still haven't solve it out... because no one is taking action to step out the 1st heavy step...

After this conflict happened, I tried to think of a win-win solution so that I don't lose my dignity and problem get solve... yet, after few times of sharing with friends and other methods... I found that win-win situation is hard to reach and it's not easy... because somehow, I will lost something and I think I have nothing but that only...

EXPECTATION... have to admit that I have high expectation on friend, because I used to thought how i treat people, people will treat me in the same way... yet, i didn't get credit or what... I do know we can't expect when you help people, people will help you back... Maybe... this is the time for me to change this perspective... The belief I have from starter... actually is wrong... I should think that way... So... maybe I need to learn how to be altruist and no expectation from friend.

I can't see how much they try to solve this problem, because all this way, I think I am the one who try to solve this problem rather than just avoid it... On the way I back to home, I think How should i type an apologetic message... but i didn't send it... When opportunity is there, I tried to voice out and get opinion from third party... yet, i didn't accept most of them... SORRY...

So, from the whole journey that I look for solution, I can't see they actually try to solve this problem... I feel like I am so lonely... For me. maybe they just worth to fight for, and for them, I am not worthy enough to fight for... and nothing seem lost for them...

Now... I am feel so tired already... I don't want to spend my time to think about solution and all those stuff already... I am exhausted, disappointed, denying and want to give up...

So, I put everything here... hope I won't carry those thing out from this daily... my friend say... let fate decide all the thing... maybe this time... i should do what he told me...